Posted by: leigh
May 31, 2010 |
Because I’m not going out on dates every night of the week (a girl has gotta get some beauty rest!), not all of these stories will be my own. I have been witness to so many funny/idiotic exchanges my friends have experienced that I plan to steal them and make my own. So there.
It’s Easter Sunday and I’m out at a bar with my friends (shocker). I mean, Jesus rose … blah, blah, blah … let’s drink to celebrate! We’re listening to some country tunes when a young gentleman approached the table and said to my friend: “I like your hair.” As he says this, he playfully mussed her hair...
One can only write so many stories about her horrible dating life before visions of razors and nooses start dancing in her head. Therefore, I’ve decided to extend my storytelling adventure to drunken tales. As you can imagine, I have a lot.
Now, I’ve been told I’ve done some pretty crazy things while intoxicated – many of which I don’t recall being a part of. If you don’t remember, it didn’t happen, right? The ones I do recall are pretty tame. At least the ones I will be sharing over the World Wide Web.
One beautiful Sunday afternoon I found myself at a nearby street festival. It was the perfect...
I met a strapping young lad one evening after viewing a train wreck of a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. He was funny, intelligent, interesting and also, amazingly, seemed quite smitten with me. A few days later we decided to meet up at a local watering hole. We discussed the state of the Iraqi war, argued about politics, and shared our hopes and deepest fears.
Fine, we drank one too many beers, pawed at one other like teenagers and giggled…a lot. Clearly things were going well!
Notice I said “were” going well…
I decided to share with him an interestingly funny story about a party I had recently...
A few months ago I decided to try out the world of Internet dating. Everyone else is doing it, so why shouldn’t I? I planned to meet one of my online “matches” for drinks at a bar near my place. He arrived first, and I was pleased he looked exactly like his picture. Mr. Match had already ordered a beer, so we exchanged pleasantries as I quickly ordered sangria. It had been about 12 hours since my last drink and I had to stop the shakes somehow!
As we began to discuss our demographics, families and other typical first date banter, I noticed he was drinking his beer rather quickly. And by rather...
One of my good friends recently planned her bachelorette party in St. Louis. It happened to correspond with Mardi Gras, so I was very excited to showcase my talent for binge drinking and motorboating. We were out partaking in said events when an attractive young lad started flirting with me. Although my conscience screamed to me that he looked a bit young, I figured it was nothing a few more Hurricanes and muscle relaxers couldn't shut up. Things unfortunately take a turn for the worse when he asked me: “Soooo, are you someone here’s Mom?”
It's late on a Saturday night and I’m at a hipster bar, so the correct assumption here is that I’m drunk. I happen to stumble on a charming middle-aged fellow who not only shares my love of Indie music but also has a motorcycle. Seeing my dream of being a Hell's Angel coming true, I am obviously interested in getting to know this chap better.