I have quite the affinity for rum, as you already may have gathered.
Hell, if it’s alcohol I probably really like it. But one beverage in particular I especially love is champagne. The problem, though, is that champagne does not love me back. If I drink too much champagne, the likelihood of me crying is 98%. The likelihood of me then yelling at you is 90%.
Odds of me being embarrassed by my behavior the next day? 100%
Now, New Year’s Eve is not exactly my favorite holiday. I hate the hype, the costs, the pressure there is to find someone to hump...
Apparently, not only do I have horrible luck and/or taste in men, but my friends do as well.
A friend of mine was under hot pursuit by a local bartender at her favorite late night hang. He was young, flirtatious and even with his faux mullet was pretty handsome. She agreed to meet him out for a date.
They went out for dinner and were both having a grand old time discussing their common interests, including hair metal bands and jorts (aka, jean shorts). Things were looking good!
After dinner they went to a local bar that my friend frequents a lot. She is friendly with a lot of the other bartenders...
I pretty much have a love hate relationships with cab drivers. When I’m drunk I love them (most of the time) and manage to get answers to all the relevant questions in life. “What is your favorite cereal?” “If you were a porn star, what would your stage name be?”
On the other hand, I have gotten kicked out of my fair share...
Posted by: leigh
July 19, 2010 |
I’m usually pretty open to setups. Especially when it’s your manager setting you up. My manager is not really aware of my drinking habits, so I would assume she would set me up with someone mature, intelligent and somewhat responsible.
Wrong. She apparently knows me better than I thought.
I agree to a setup and my email and phone number are forwarded. We share a few brief emails while I await a phone call. A few days later, on a Friday night at 7 PM (does he not know about happy hour?), I get a text from him: “So tell me about yourself.”
Really? Over a text?
My mind fast forwards to a likely...
Brief background to this story: Everyone should know I love dressing up. Anything with a theme, I’m in. The weirder, the better! If it involves a wig, glasses, cape or chest hair – CALL ME. Halloween is my day of the year not because I can dress like a slut, but because I can look like an ass, and this is the one day of the year it is actually acceptable to look like one. I also can choose characters that like to wrestle, dance or engage in physical violence. It’s a win-win for everyone. Well, except for the person’s face I’m pummeling with my bare hands. “Whatcha’ gonna do brothaaaaaa?!”
I like to have a good time. Not a shock to you faithful blog followers. Some might even say I’m wild. Not wild in the “sexy getting naked and riding a mechanical bull” type way … more in the hot mess way of “drinking mass amounts of shots, falling on my face and passing out sans pants while using my own blood as a pizza dipping sauce.”
Hey, we’ve all been there…right?
A few weeks ago, I had dinner with a “not worth detailing his demographics” date. Long story short, I didn’t go out with him again, so who gives a hoot about what his face was like and how unexciting his personality...
A few years ago, I was hanging out at one of my favorite late night drinking dives, Carol’s Pub. I always have fun here and have yet to contract Leprosy or Hepatitis C. As much as I frequent this joint, really I’m rather lucky! I love it so much I would consider applying for a job, except I’m pretty sure having a lazy eye and/or a nasty meth habit is required.
So I’m outside of said establishment at 5 a.m. trying to decide which burrito house to hit with some friends. I should mention in this group of individuals I am one of two women.
Hanging around the area is an older gentleman...
Posted by: leigh
July 5, 2010 |
As I’ve mentioned before, I decided to try the whole online dating thing earlier in the year, which didn’t exactly work out in my favor. Unless you count attempted date rape by a guy who waxes his arm hair as being in my favor?
No? Well then, yeah, it did not exactly work out in my favor.
I bowed out of said membership after several weeks, but because...
My ability to take things two steps further than they should go started at a rather young age. Whether it’s my strangely perverse creativity, my need to surprise people or just for my own damn amusement, my sick and twisted mindset has definitely been cultivated over time.
During my final year of college I decided to accompany my new roommate to a party she was attending. We had hung out a bit the previous year, but at this point we were still getting to know one another. For sure she got to know what she was in store for real quick!
So we’re at the party checking out the other guests when...