I’ve done a lot of really weird shit in cabs. Many of these stories I don’t care to air on the Internet. Looking back on some of these stories, I am quite confused and also perturbed. What about the backseat of a cab is arousing? The smell of BO from the driver or possibly stale cigarettes? I guess the smell of an unwashed foreign armpit is way better than shame and regret. (A smell I am oh so familiar with.)
However, as I do not have much dignity left, I figure I might as well share a few tales while they’re still considered “entertainment.”
Years ago I had gone out drinking with...
When I visited Peru last November, I spent four days/three nights hiking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.
It. Was. AMAZING!
However, it did involve not showering for three days straight. I was able to fit in some makeshift bathing (hoe bath!), although most of the “bathrooms” consisted of a hole in the ground. Now, I’ve never been adept at squatting, let alone when it involves peeing. I seriously don’t know how other girls do it.
After urinating on myself several times I managed to get some sort of routine down.
What was my routine, you ask?
It went a little something like...
As you may or may not know, I have a VERY active imagination. This is often the reason I tend to eat pavement hard when I’m running. Instead of focusing on the ground, possible curb or even a minor crack in the sidewalk, I’m dreaming about what I’ll wear on my non-existent book tour.
Before my trip to Australia, I often found myself daydreaming about becoming a world-class surfer while visiting (literally I trip over NOTHING on flat GROUND, yeah, all right...surfing will be the ONE sport I’m likely good at), having a tan, muscled, blue-eyed, accented hunk of meat fall...
I used to be able to drink like a tank.
I know, I know. It sounds like I still can!
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely can stand my ground when it comes to boozing, and can probably drink most people under the table. But back in the day when I was closer to college age than grandma age, I had some serious drinking stamina.
It was summer and I had spent my Saturday at Wrigley Field. This day consisted of me consuming only one hot dog all day long …
… as well as 10 beers. After the game, I got a call...