I’m lucky in that I was born with olive skin. I tan pretty well. Unfortunately, when I don’t have a tan, I bear a striking resemblance to a jaundice victim. I turn a greenish yellow.
It’s not pretty, people.
Back when I was younger I used to hit up tanning beds in the winter months. This isn’t Jersey Shores GTL!!! I wasn’t going every day by any means. But I would go one to two times a month just to give me enough color to be able to kid myself that my liver was functioning properly.
As the years progressed, though, I began to realize that tanning is really bad for you. I would...
I’ve discovered these stories sometimes just write themselves.
After being molested by a guy I met online a long time ago, I vowed never to do online dating again. That is, until a good friend of mine met online a great guy who has yet to slit her throat. I decided to dust off my profile status, figuring I had nothing to lose considering the non-committal types I currently was dating after meeting them drunk at a bar.
Has anyone ever written a dating profile for themselves? It sucks! They’re all the same!
“I like to travel!”
“I love to go out but also...
Once upon a time I was a smoker. I used to call it “social smoking.” Social in that I smoked every time I was in the car, when I needed a “break” during or after work, and especially when I was drinking. Before the Chicago bars became non-smoking, I could easily smoke a pack in one night. Sometimes more than that. Then would wake up the next day hacking like I’ve spent my life working in the coal mines. “I think I got the black lung, Pop!”
This habit, coupled with my habit of laying out in the sun using only butter, pretty much ensures I’ll look like a Read More
Several years ago, after a particularly painful break up, I convinced one of my best friends to take a trip with me. I needed to get away and fast! I had some vacation time saved up, as before the break up my ex and I had been in the midst of planning a vacation. My friend wanted somewhere cheap, so we booked a last-minute five-day cruise to Grand Cayman and Mexico. Neither of us had been on a cruise before and, suffice it to say, neither of us will be going on one ever again.
Apparently cruises are like the movie Groundhog Day for fat and annoying people. At least the Carnival cruise ship we were...