Time for another Australia story!
After departing the Outback, my friend and I arrived in Melbourne, which was a welcome sight after days of heat, hiking and sand. I remember being surprised at how cosmopolitan and diverse the city turned out to be. I mean, a large population of my people, Greeks and Middle Easterners, were there! All around me I saw well-groomed men with dark hair, dark skin, big brown eyes and so on … Mama likey! Especially after touring a desert with people who smelled faintly of moth balls and formaldehyde. Needless to say, I was ready to wrestle with some Mediterranean...
I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned in prior posts the size of my ass. Recap: It’s not small.
It’s large and it’s in charge. It also likes for me to feed it vast amounts of cheese and anything Mexican. How else is it supposed to stay so large? I give the ass what it wants because, once again, it’s in charge. Men may think with their dicks, but I think with my ass.
Which is a bit of an issue, if you really think about it.
You would think I would have a relatively easy time riding a bicycle as a result of all this mass following me around. I bought a really nice bicycle last...
My good friends got married last April in St. Louis. Because it was an out-of-town wedding and I did not like any man in my life enough to commit to spending almost three days straight with him, I chose to go as a party of one. My other friend did the same.
The wedding was a blast. I met people that will surely be lifelong friends and, most likely, be part of the wedding party at my own wedding.
I also exaggerate.
I seriously made some best friends for that night, though, for sure … but have yet to talk to them again.
The wedded couple had set up an area during the reception to take...
I went through a brief stint of shoplifting in high school. We’ve all been there, right?
Well, I apparently was trying to decide which type of felon I would like to be. A thief was, thankfully, not in the cards.
I did steal two rings from one of those mall kiosks over the course of a month during my junior year in high school. My heart was pounding, I was sweating, adrenaline was pumping! I ended up losing both of these rings soon after I “borrowed” them. I felt a lot of guilt about my theft and figured it was God’s way of letting me know this behavior will not be tolerated.