I consider myself a pretty supportive person. If a friend is in need, I’ll be there … in most cases. However, if you are looking to get and/or stay sober, I’m not sure I would be the best sponsor for you. I’m pretty sure drinking is not allowed in Alcoholics Anonymous, correct?
Yeah. I wouldn’t be the best sponsor.
So I find myself on a date with a cute young guy. We were at a local Italian restaurant, and I opted to order a glass of red wine with dinner. I just drank ONE glass, people. I didn’t polish off a bottle and dance on the table with a short skirt and no underwear on. I usually wait until at least the second date before I do a little commando table dancing.
After I ordered the wine, the waiter looked to my date for his drink order. He said he just wanted water. I didn’t think much of this. Sometimes I feel like a drink, sometimes I don’t. I mean, if I’m awake I usually feel like a drink. If I’m “sleeping” (AKA passed out), I usually don’t.
Fine. I actually probably do feel like a drink, but I’m sleeping and I don’t hear/see you offering one to me.
He then informed me, “I don’t drink anymore.” Sensing a tone to this statement, I stated that I was fine with that, and did he mind that I was having a drink? “No, I don’t mind. I just want to make it very clear that I don’t drink.”
Ok, buddy. It’s not like I was planning on sharing my wine with you. Mitts off!
I wanted to respect his privacy, so I didn’t ask any follow-up questions on his reasons behind no longer drinking. You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to figure it out, though. I don’t know that many people who were traders who then opt for a career change and are currently working in construction. I’m not one to judge, I’m just saying. He clearly had a problem with alcohol and made the hard decision to cut it out of his life. I can respect that. I went a month with no alcohol once and currently have no plans for a repeat of that any time soon. I think I’d rather cut off my leg. Because then I could finally see my pirate dreams becoming realized. Arrrgghhh matey! I could also fill my hollow peg leg with rum to be able to take nips at every occasion possible.
So, pretty much the opposite of joining AA.
Dinner progressed alright. Most of his stories started with, “Well, now that I’m not drinking …” and ended with “… because I’m no longer drinking.” I felt kind of bad, as he was clearly very focused on his new no drinking policy, while never mentioning he was going to AA or any support group of the sort.
By no means do you need to have alcohol to have fun. As the quote says, though, I drink to make other people interesting. Although this guy seemed nice enough, he was not very forthcoming. Or interesting. His only hobby seemed to be not drinking.
I recognized that to date this guy I would either have to start drinking a whole lot more (cause I don’t drink enough) or I would have to bring him to the dark side. Visions of me fashioning beer bongs out of household items filled my mind as I dreamed of the terror in his eyes after he awakes tied to a radiator and is being force fed booze. I just didn’t want that on my conscience.
I did the humane thing and let him go.
As Frank Sinatra so eloquently said, “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
I had to do the right thing.
If you have an alcohol problem, steer clear of me. Seriously. Do yourself a favor. Stay. Far. Away. It’s for your own safety.