My new job requires me to schedule visits with customers to check in and see how our company is doing in the hopes of getting more referrals. I feel pretty comfortable talking to most people, but already have found my klutziness to be quite a deterrent to my work at hand.
I shadowed someone during my first four weeks as a way to be introduced and get to know our customers in regards to what they like, what they need, their service expectations, etc. I really liked the young lady I was shadowing, and actually would have liked for us to continue to tag team. We had oodles of car dance parties, a lot of laughs and, of course, I gave her many scares while driving in my car. I think I turned her knuckles a permanent shade of white!
I have gone full speed over at least five speed bumps. I’ve almost rear-ended about 15 cars, as I wasn’t paying attention while checking my work email on my cell phone. I’ve gotten lost a handful of times.
The over/under on me getting into an accident was four days. Knock on wood, but I have yet to collide with another vehicle!
Before my first week working solo, I was pretty excited to see if I could really do this job.
Then, one morning I took a bad tumble running, which gave me road rash from my inside wrist to my elbow and left me with two gaping wounds on my elbow, several chunks of missing skin on my hand and, let’s not forget, my bruised and scabbed knees.
I was a hot mess.
So it’s my second day working alone and I look like this. What’s a girl to do?
I decided to concoct a story that involved 1. my new interest in MMA; 2. a knife fight in an alley; or 3. sex with a sumo wrestler.
Honestly the story would change depending on the audience.
In the meantime, I tried to bandage up my bruised body as best I could while lathering vast amounts of Neosporin on myself. And by vast amounts I mean I literally was bathing in it. It was also hot out, which meant I couldn’t bear to wear any sleeves or anything that covered my amazingly muscular calves.
Fine, so maybe they’re not amazingly muscular. But they’re one of the only skinny things about my body, so I like to show them off as much as possible.
On top of the hot mess that I already was, I also should disclose that I have a sweating “problem” that requires me to wear little to no clothing. The “problem” is called being Greek and everyone in my family seems to have been genetically gifted with this same issue. In looking at pictures from our family reunions, you’d think we’d have just exited the local sweat shop or sauna. But no, just another typical winter in the frozen tundra!
Long story short, my first few weeks on my own were spent shaking hands with people who I’m sure noticed my greasy band-aided right hand. I tried to do research on whether there was a surge of people in the Chicagoland insurance industry getting HIV and hepatitis testing, but thus far I haven’t found a search engine that can find the results.
If disgusting my customers was my job, let’s just say I would OWN that job.
One of my visits downstate required me to meet and chat with a very funny and friendly young fellow. This caused me to “go Greek” (aka, sweat profusely) and likely blush on several occasions.
As I was leaving his office with a cake in hand, I WALKED INTO A WALL.
Literally, there was a wall, I was walking with a cake, and I walked straight into it. There was no reason for me to do this. I was looking straight ahead. I didn’t trip. The wall was clearly visible.
Yet I walked straight into a wall.
I then began to giggle profusely, being at a loss for what else to do. I quickly threw the cake at the receptionist and made my way out of the office with my non-existent tail between my legs.
Can you say embarrassing?
I’m pretty sure this customer will never let me forget that I walked into a wall. And yes, there were several witnesses.
The running joke is that when I come to visit they are getting padding and bumper guards for any hard objects in the office.
Let’s just say I make a SMASHING good first impression!
Seriously, unless you’re a ghost, you can’t walk through walls. They are hard. They are solid. They are for walking around.
When you are looking to impress a customer with your knowledge, professionalism and candor – the best bet is NOT to walk into walls.
Step One: Look where you’re walking.
Step Two: Move around solid objects.
Seriously, it’s not that complicated.