About a block from my house is a very beautiful, old church. Although I have yet to see the inside of the church, I have great views of it from my apartment, especially from my porch.
I often can be found out on my porch breathing in the fresh air and contemplating life as I stare off into the distance at the church steeples. What is the meaning of life? Where did we come from? Who are we? Where are we going?
Usually the only reason I’m on my porch is to have the occasional cigarette. Hey! I might be contemplating life. You don’t know.
But usually I’m just contemplating when I might quit smoking for good.
Summer of 2011: I was meeting a friend for dinner at a local BYOB Mediterranean spot. It was a nice night, so I decided to walk. As I rounded the corner by the church, I saw a man sitting on the steps eating food out of a Styrofoam container. He looked worse for the wear, so I could only assume he was a bit down on his luck. As I walked quickly by him, I felt something hit the back of my calf.
I looked down and saw a balled-up piece of bread. Hhhmmm, that’s strange.
Perhaps this homeless man was trying to feed the birds? I didn’t often see birds frequenting this stretch of sidewalk, but maybe this man knew something I didn’t.
As I continued walking, I looked back at the lovely homeless man who was so generously sharing his food with the birds. I mean, to think that this might be his only meal of the day and here he was, sharing it with the birds.
But when I looked back to give this lovely man a smile, my face froze.
This “lovely” homeless man was standing there with a balled-up piece of bread and staring right at me with a grimace. He then proceeded to take aim and throw the bread right at me!
What the fuck!
Fortunately, his aim was for crap and the bread missed me.
To give him some credit, I reasoned that perhaps he thought I was hungry so was trying to feed me? I then glanced down at my incestuous thighs that always seemed to be touching and was reminded that I was the last person on earth who looked like she needed to carb up.
But seriously, how many times in your life can you say that a homeless person purposefully threw food at you? For no reason at all.
This. Is. My. Life.
If you live on the streets and find yourself with a full meal, you probably should eat the meal. What you should not do is throw said food at innocent passersby.
In my estimation, this is probably what landed him on the streets in the first place – Lack of logic.
That, or lack of aim.