I went through a brief period of not wearing underwear. It seemed like the thing to do? Everyone’s gone through this phase, right? It’s somewhat like the phase we all go through when you just don’t ever shower. Everyone goes through that phase too, right?
I wear a lot of skirts and dresses. I just think they are more comfortable. Most likely because I’m shaped like I’m ready to hit the pool (INNER TUBE FASTENED).
Anywhoodle, my stint of not wearing underwear ended abruptly after a disastrous date to Navy Pier, during which my wrap dress blew open in the breeze and exposed...
I make fun of people. A lot. Like pretty much all the time. If I'm not making fun of you while speaking to your face, then I'm definitely making fun of you in my mind. I stay far, far away from people claiming to have E.S.P. in fear they'll incite a mob of people who will burn me at the stake for being a hateful monster. By the way, I also stay away from people with V.D., but for totally different reasons.
I'm convinced my internal monologue should have its own TV show. Honey Boo Boo ain't got nothing on me! I'm absolutely...
I hear a lot of shit. And because I decided I’m too lazy to turn some of this shit into individual stories, I’m going to entertain you with a compilation of lines I’ve heard while out being a sexy cat on the town.
With commentary by yours truly, of course.
First up, a holiday story. It’s December. I’m at a dive bar (shocking, I know). There was a guy there wearing an ugly Christmas sweater even though he was not in attendance at an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. As an added bonus, this sweater smelled like it had never been washed. Actually, it probably smelled more like it had been...
Posted by: leigh
March 15, 2012 |
March 15, 2012
As I’ve mentioned before, I have a penchant for accents. If you have an accent, the likelihood of me humping your leg increases exponentially.
Summer 2011 I met a guy named Paolo. He was from Italy, but had been living in the states for some time. He was covered head to toe in tattoos. As if this didn’t make him sexy enough, he was really fun and funny. Not to mention the accent.
Good chance he would be “in” as well, if he wanted. (wink, wink)
Unfortunately, we met the day before he was leaving to go to Nebraska for work for a month. We did some light texting and talked...
Posted by: leigh
February 23, 2012 |
February 23, 2012
The summer before my junior year of college, something very lucky happened to me: My Mom’s Mazda broke down. OK, so I guess it wasn’t too lucky for my parents. But it was lucky for me because they said I could keep the car if I agreed to pay for the repairs, which would be extensive.
I quickly realized that my camp counselor paycheck would probably not cut it, so I decided to get a second job as a server at Max n’ Ermas. I had never been a server before, but how hard could it be?
In hindsight, I think a large part of my serving “issues” could be chalked up to sheer exhaustion. I spent...
Another date with another guy I met online. Honestly, I don’t know why I bother anymore, other than I need content for this blog. Granted, online dating gave me a brief instance of faith after I fell in love with someone (who later broke my heart).But I picked myself up, tucked my fat back into my Spanxand decided to start trolling online for his replacement. I got a bite from a guy who had a somewhat...
This past September I traveled with friends to Europe, visiting Slovakia, Austria, Germany and Denmark. It was friggin’ amazing.
Our first stop was Bratislava, Slovakia. We didn’t have a lot of time before Vienna and, with Bratislava only an hour away, we thought it could be a fun place to explore. None of us knew much about Bratislava, but figured we’d have a blast. Later on we found out that Bratislava is very popular among Europeans for bachelor/bachelorette parties.
Some other little known facts about Bratislava: They have a penchant for wearing overalls, going sans...
Years ago, I began a job search when I felt that my current employer was on to the fact that I came into work hungover every Monday and spent most of my time personal emailing.
Actually, in all honesty, I was looking for a bigger challenge. I’m prone to boredom. Hell, aren’t we all? Isn’t that why you’re reading this shit?
So I interviewed with a company and it went really well. They wanted me to meet all the head honchos during a second interview. It was in Seattle.
I was pretty psyched because I had never been to Seattle. I’m really quite attracted to hippie granola...
It was the summer of 2011 and I had just finished a long, hard run and was quite proud of myself for not tripping, falling or shearing off any sort of skin on my body.
To paint the picture more clearly, I looked like I had just gone for a swim in a sticky, salty creek that also had caused all the blood to rush to my face. My hair was falling out of my ponytail, with strange curls sticking up in every direction. I was wearing clothes that should match, but were instead ill-fitting and causing some sort of chafing on my legs and boobs. This was causing me to walk like I had been...