I make fun of people. A lot. Like pretty much all the time. If I'm not making fun of you while speaking to your face, then I'm definitely making fun of you in my mind. I stay far, far away from people claiming to have E.S.P. in fear they'll incite a mob of people who will burn me at the stake for being a hateful monster. By the way, I also stay away from people with V.D., but for totally different reasons.
I'm convinced my internal monologue should have its own TV show. Honey Boo Boo ain't got nothing on me! I'm absolutely...
There are a lot of things I am not. Subtle? Not my strongest suit.
Graceful? If you think the lovechild of a rhino and a one-legged duck is graceful, then I’m your girl.
Fortunately for me (and all of you), I am a lot of things. One of which is fun. I love to have fun. I mean, I know most people THINK they like to have fun and are, in fact, having fun. But seriously, they’re not. If they’re not with me, they’re not really having fun.
Also, if you were wondering, modesty is not on the list of my character traits. I don’t really care. I’m self-aware.
And I’m a fucking...
Posted by: leigh
AA, alcohol, dating
August 31, 2011 |
August 31, 2011
I consider myself a pretty supportive person. If a friend is in need, I’ll be there ... in most cases. However, if you are looking to get and/or stay sober, I’m not sure I would be the best sponsor for you. I’m pretty sure drinking is not allowed in Alcoholics Anonymous, correct?
Yeah. I wouldn’t be the best sponsor.
So I find myself on a date with a cute young guy. We were at a local Italian restaurant, and I opted to order a glass of red wine with dinner. I just drank ONE glass, people. I didn’t polish off a bottle and dance on the table with a short skirt and no underwear on. I usually...
When planning an engagement party, there are several things you need to put on your checklist: Make sure the bride’s ring is sparkly and nails freshly done, display a few pictures of the engaged couple, be able to tell people some of your wedding plans and, last but not least, invite your friend with a drinking problem to an “all you can drink” three-hour party.
Before my friend’s said engagement party last summer, a bunch of us decided to have dinner at a nearby sushi BYOB. Of course, I arrived with a bottle of red in hand. The problem? No one else was drinking the red wine. The guys...
As I’ve mentioned before, I previously was in a long-term relationship. This relationship ended pretty badly, but we actually had to live together for about 5 months after its demise.
Now, for anyone who has seen the movie “The Break-Up,” you might think there would be room for some comedy. You are sorely mistaken. This was a very long five months. For me, it was basically filled with alcohol and bad decisions.
Fortunately for you all, bad decisions make great stories!
I was at my company Christmas luncheon and decided to partake in quite a few glasses of wine. The luncheon came...
I used to be able to drink like a tank.
I know, I know. It sounds like I still can!
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely can stand my ground when it comes to boozing, and can probably drink most people under the table. But back in the day when I was closer to college age than grandma age, I had some serious drinking stamina.
It was summer and I had spent my Saturday at Wrigley Field. This day consisted of me consuming only one hot dog all day long …
… as well as 10 beers. After the game, I got a call...
I am single, drunk and raring to go in Vegas with a girlfriend.
Thus far our weekend had consisted of the usual Vegas routine: lay by the pool all day, drink and dance all night. Wake up the next day, press repeat.
This was our second trip to Las Vegas together. The first trip we made the mistake of booking three nights. By the third night we were barely alive. We, of course, forced ourselves to go out, but I remember I literally did not want to move, let alone talk to anyone, and ended up telling some poor soul that if he did not leave me alone he was going to wake up in a bathtub filled...
My passion for all things alcohol-related started at a rather young age. Like most teenagers, I experimented with alcohol and was first in line to attend the party for whoever’s parents were out of town that night. I discovered pretty quickly that I like booze.
And my friends discovered pretty quickly that when I’m drinking I can be convinced to do some pretty dumb things.
Case in point: After a night of boozing, my friends and I somehow ended up at a local “park” (really it’s a retention base/hill). This park was about two blocks from my house and known for having a pretty big Fourth...
It’s another beautiful Saturday and I can once again be found at Wrigley Field. A bunch of friends and I had bleacher tickets, and man was it a hot one that day. The only way to cool down was to chug beer!
After the game my friends and I did a bar crawl of sorts and ended up at the classy joint Sluggers. Given my stumbling and double...
I turned the big 3-0 last year. I’m one of those obnoxious people who likes to celebrate her birthday. Honestly, it’s not all about me, me, me. I just like having an excuse to celebrate something. Whether it’s my birthday, your birthday, Jesus’ birthday – I want to drink and dance and take part in some sort of revelry!
I decided to do a joint celebration with a friend whose birthday is a few weeks before mine. We chose a nearby bar in Wrigleyville and rented out the top floor for an “all you can drink” three-hour party. Unfortunately, there was a crazy snowstorm that night,...